Friendships And Different Life Stages

Friendship is a constant throughout our lives. However, the friendships themselves do not always stay the same. While this can be exciting and refreshing depending on your stage of life, it can also be a contributing factor to anxiety and sadness around friendships. It is important to acknowledge that these ups and downs often can help you grow, even if it feels difficult in the moment. This article explores the root of why friendships can go through such different stages and how you can best adjust to these changes.

Some Friendships Are Meant For Seasons, And That’s Okay

Like many things in life, certain friendships can feel like they are supposed to last a lifetime. Your brain at 5-years old has told you that your best friend in elementary school is, of course, going to be your best friend forever. What you don’t realize at the time is that oftentimes, friendships are meant to grow to a different place. There may be friends that you meet through a particular interest. As the years go on, your interests may start to change, and you may not have as much in common with that person anymore. One of the most difficult parts of a situation like this is the acceptance that something is now different than what it used to be. There can often be what feels like a true grieving process around the distancing of a friendship. Our friends can be unbelievably important people in our lives, so when that is no longer the case for a particular person, it can be quite difficult to accept and move on from.

There are also friends that we have in life who often serve different purposes. Some people can be super fun to do activities with and have a lot of great memories with, but they do not have the capacity for a friendship on a deeper, more emotional level. It is important to acknowledge what you are able to get out of these friendships. If you do not do that, it can often lead to being let down with an unrealistic expectation of who that person is. 

While this may be a common occurrence throughout one’s lifespan, it is important to acknowledge that just because a friendship has changed or distanced itself, it does not mean you have done anything wrong. It is important to take accountability if there are things you wish you did differently, but it can often truly be a result of two people no longer fitting into each other’s lives the way they used to.  

Quality Over Quantity

At a young age, it can be a sign of success or popularity to have a very large number of friends. People from after-school activities, summer camp, a new school, and much more can result in what feels like a huge pool of people. Over time, this pool often becomes smaller. People tend to seek friendships based more on the quality of the person instead of finding anyone, no matter what they are like.

Once again, the shrinking of your circle of friends can come with some questioning of your confidence and self-worth. It is easy to think you have done something wrong because your friend group is smaller. However, once you have accepted that you only want people in your life who will truly make you better and fill your cup, this can result in a more intimate circle of people. There can be something really special when you realize that you are surrounded by people you want to be around, not people you feel like you should be around.

It can be very easy to compare your friendships to others’. Social media can do a good job of making it seem like there are other people with the perfect group of friends. This is usually a highlight reel and does not show that everyone has had their ups and downs in their own friendships. Focusing on staying on your own friendship path can provide true security and happiness in the friendships you seek and the ones you work on maintaining. There is nothing like a true best friend, and allowing yourself to relish in that can be the key to satisfaction in friendship without stress or anxiety.