Trigger warning: This article discusses sexual assault, consent violations, and trauma. Please take care of yourself while reading and skip this article if this topic feels overwhelming. There’s a conversation that many gay men don’t talk about enough: sexual assault in the gay community. When we hear the words “sexual assault,” we may picture a stranger attacking someone in a dark alley. But sexual assault doesn’t always look like that. For many gay men, it can happen during

I have been hearing more recently about adults being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD well into their 30’s and 40’s. Highly successful adults that are diagnosed later in life managed to slip through the cracks because they were highly intelligent or had strong external structures during childhood. Up to 80% of adults with ADHD have at least one co-occurring mental health condition. For years, many adults were treated for chronic generalized anxiety or major depression. While those str

Friendship is a constant throughout our lives. However, the friendships themselves do not always stay the same. While this can be exciting and refreshing depending on your stage of life, it can also be a contributing factor to anxiety and sadness around friendships. It is important to acknowledge that these ups and downs often can help you grow, even if it feels difficult in the moment. This article explores the root of why friendships can go through such different stages and

For many gay men, dating and hookup apps have become a normal part of everyday life. Platforms like Grindr, Scruff, Sniffies, Tinder, and Hinge have changed the way people meet, date, build friendships, explore their sexuality, and connect with others in the LGBTQ+ community. These apps often spark strong opinions. Some people see them as empowering tools that create opportunities for connection and self-expression. Others criticize them for contributing to loneliness, superf

A question I hear from clients is: “How do I know if this feeling is my intuition or my anxiety?” It is a question that arises among curious people who are trying to align their decisions with their truest selves. People who want to live with greater authenticity and make sense of the messages their minds and bodies are sending them. It emerges during seasons of uncertainty. When someone is navigating a major life transition, considering a difficult decision, or trying to mak

Social anxiety disorder is characterized by the fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected by others, which then leads to fear of social situations. Social anxiety can cause worry about appearing visibly anxious or awkward and may result in physical symptoms such as a rapid heart rate, nausea, sweating, and panic attacks. These social anxiety symptoms often begin during the teenage years and can continue into adulthood. Individuals with social anxiety disorder ei

The word selfish is almost always synonymous with negativity. If you are deemed selfish, this can mean that you are always putting yourself above the needs of others. It can mean that you’re not thinking about their feelings and doing things for your own benefit. However, being selfish is not always a bad thing. We have often been taught by family or friends that we are never supposed to be selfish. This article explores the root of perceived selfishness and when it can be ok

Mental Health Awareness Month encourages us to be more open to and accepting of our mental health challenges and how we cope with them, in order to reduce stigma and increase engagement with beneficial resources. This month highlights a wide range of topics such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. For many, especially those of us in the LGBT+ community, this includes acceptance of ourselves and our sexuality. However, these conversations don’t always address sexual and sex-adja

Let's talk about main character energy. If you've been anywhere near social media in the last few years, you know the vibe. Treat your life like a movie. Romanticize the ordinary. Do it for the plot. That impulse is beautiful. It's reaching for something real, the feeling that your life matters, that your choices mean something, that your ordinary Tuesday is worth paying attention to. Hold onto that wonder and romance. BUT main character energy is passive and performative w

In my work as a therapist with queer men, concerns about physical appearance almost never show up as vanity. They show up as anxiety. As loneliness. As a low grade fear of being left, overlooked, or replaced. Often, they show up as a quiet but constant feeling of not being enough. For many queer men, the body isn’t just something we live in. It becomes something we feel watched through. Evaluated through. Measured. How we look can start to feel directly tied to how safe, want

I can’t tell you how many high-functioning adults have said some version of this to me: “I finally had a break… and I hated it.” They get time off. The quiet house. The cleared schedule. And instead of feeling restored, they feel anxious, guilty, like they’re forgetting something. Within minutes they’re checking emails, reorganizing a drawer, planning the week ahead. Rest doesn’t land as relief — it lands as discomfort. That’s not accidental. For a lot of capable, high-respon

As a therapist, I've had the opportunity to help many clients navigate the complex journey of grief. Yet when grief became intensely personal, my clinical understanding transformed into something far more profound and visceral. This past year, following the sudden and unexpected death of my own mother, I found myself immersed in the raw, stark reality of loss. It's been a year of profound learning, not just as a grieving daughter, but as a clinician whose perspective has been

People with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often experience challenges that go far beyond focus or restlessness. One common and deeply felt struggle is low self-esteem. Self-esteem refers to how we see and value ourselves — our sense of worth and our belief in our own capabilities. When self-esteem is low, it can affect nearly every aspect of life: our mental health, relationships, career, and day-to-day functioning. And for individuals with ADHD, low self-es

For many gay men, porn becomes an early, often unspoken source of sex education. In the absence of affirming or inclusive information growing up, it’s common to turn to porn to understand identity, desire, and what gay sex is “supposed” to look like. And while porn can feel validating or exciting in some ways, it presents a carefully constructed fantasy, not a model for real connection or intimacy. Over time, these images can shape how people feel about their bodies, how they

As a therapist, I hear the same questions over and over again. They come from people of all genders, sexual orientations, relationship styles, and life stages: Is this the "right" amount of sex to be having? How often are couples with kids actually having sex? My libido has changed. What does that mean? What if I don’t desire my partner the way I used to? Our libidos don’t match. Should I be worried? These questions may sound different, but they all circle the same theme: des

When people think about PTSD, they often picture war zones or catastrophic events. But for many LGBTQIA+ individuals, trauma doesn’t come from a single moment. It comes from years of living in a world that too often feels unsafe, invalidating, or outright hostile. At Rust Wellness Group, we work with queer clients navigating this kind of trauma every day. You deserve care that not only understands PTSD but also sees how your identity and lived experience shape the way trauma

For many gay men, conversations about mental health often overlap with substance use, especially when party drugs are involved. A term that comes up in these conversations is chemsex , which refers to using drugs like meth, GHB, or ecstasy in sexual settings. While not every gay man uses substances, party drugs have become closely tied to queer nightlife, hookup culture, and intimacy. But this isn’t just about partying. Often, it reflects deeper needs, like the search for con

We all carry invisible stories, especially the ones from childhood. Some of those stories are filled with love and safety. Others are marked by pain, fear, or things no child should have had to face. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are the name for those early difficult experiences—things like abuse, neglect, or growing up in a home where there was mental illness, addiction, or violence. They leave a mark. Not just on your memory, but on your nervous system, your health

The holiday season is now here and while it is usually a time of joy, celebration, love and magic, for some couples that is not always the case. Holiday time can be very stressful and overwhelming, especially for those who have kids. I find myself looking over the calendar for December and thinking “how are we going to get this all done?” Between the school events, themed dress up days, gingerbread house making, cookie decorating, gift buying and don’t even get me started wit

Sleep comes up often in therapy, but rarely as the first concern. More often, people talk about feeling anxious, burned out, overwhelmed, or emotionally stuck. And as we begin to explore what’s happening in their day-to-day life, sleep quietly enters the picture—fragmented, unpredictable, or simply missing. When sleep is disrupted, it affects more than just energy levels. It influences how we think, feel, and connect with others. Poor sleep can worsen anxiety, fuel depression