Holiday Survival Tips for Couples with Kids: How to Reduce Stress and Reconnect

The holiday season is now here and while it is usually a time of joy, celebration, love and magic, for some couples that is not always the case. Holiday time can be very stressful and overwhelming, especially for those who have kids. I find myself looking over the calendar for December and thinking “how are we going to get this all done?”

Between the school events, themed dress up days, gingerbread house making, cookie decorating, gift buying and don’t even get me started with the Elf on The Shelf, it’s A LOT! Yet somehow, we find a way to get it all done. Holiday “magic” comes at a price, our sanity! So, is it possible for couples with kids to manage holiday stress more effectively? 

Here are some practical, emotionally grounded tips to help couples navigate the stress of the holiday season with more ease, connection, and teamwork.

1. Manage expectations and determine what is realistic: Discuss what is most important, like certain family traditions. You can’t do everything and it is ok to say no. 

2. Keep plans “Kid Friendly”: Especially important for couples with younger children, plan around nap and feeding schedules. Being prepared to leave early if necessary.

3. Check-In with your partner: Short 5 minute check-ins are important. Ask your partner “What is one thing you need from me today”. Be open and honest and normalize asking for help. 

4. Divide Tasks Clearly: Don’t assume! Discuss together what needs to be accomplished and then plan for who is responsible for what.

5. Keep Family Traditions: Kids may not remember every event, but they will remember the important moments. So keep those low stress family traditions going such as cookie decorating, holiday book reading or decorating. 

6. Build in Recovery Time: Especially important for those couples with young children who can get easily overwhelmed if there is too much going on. Say “no” to curtain invitations without feeling guilty. 

7. Talk Money: It is important for couples to talk about and set a realistic budget when it comes to gift buying. Financial stress can hit harder with kids so having clarity helps.

8. Be mindful of each other’s Emotional Load: The holidays can bring nostalgia, pressure to make it “magical” or sadness about loved ones who are missing. Making sure to ask your partner how you can be emotionally supportive to them keeps you both connected. 

9. Don’t forget Couple Time: Even if it’s just a few minutes a day, make time for one another. Tiny moments of connection keep your relationship from disappearing under the parenting workload.

Remember that couple closeness is the glue that holds the holiday chaos together. By working together and communicating, you can find more enjoyment in the holiday season.