How Perimenopause Impacts Your Sense of Self—and How to Reclaim It

The term sense of self refers to an individual’s evolving awareness of their unique identity, which includes the thoughts, beliefs and characteristics that distinguish them from others.  Sense of self encompasses how we see ourselves, how we value ourselves and who we aspire to be. Our sense of self is greatly influenced by our experiences, relationships and environment, therefore changes to any of these areas can greatly affect sense of self.

For women, one such change they will experience is Perimenopause.  As discussed in our previous blog post “What is Perimenopause? Understanding the Mental and Emotions Symptoms in your 40’s”, Perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause, when the ovaries start producing less estrogen and eventually stop ovulating. For most woman, they enter this stage in their early 40’s and it can last anywhere from a few years to a decade.

In addition to the effect this stage has on a woman’s mental health and emotions, this change also brings challenges for a woman’s sense of self because it disturbs our identity, relationships, and outlook on life. Many women suddenly find themselves feeling a loss of control. Below are some examples of how perimenopause can affect sense of self and what we can do about it!

• Physical Identity

Hormonal changes can bring hot flashes, sleep issues, and weight redistribution and many may struggle with feeling less attractive or youthful.

Women can embrace these changes by reframing perimenopause as a new stage of wisdom, strength, and resilience rather than focusing on what the body “used to be”.

• Roles and Relationships

Perimenopause often overlaps with big life changes such as children becoming more independent, career plateau, or caregiving for aging parents. We can start to question “Who am I beyond my roles?” 

While it is natural to feel sadness for roles changing, it is also exciting to begin to explore new possibilities and create space for rediscovery. 

• Emotional Landscape

The roller coaster of emotions that come with the hormonal shifts during perimenopause can cause mood swings and anxiety that can cause our sense of self to feel “out of control.” 

Practices like mindfulness, therapy, or journaling help manage midlife stress and transitions.

• Personal Growth and Empowerment

As difficult as this stage is for many women, it can be a turning point and time to focus on inner strength.

Women often report feeling freer, wiser, and more grounded, with a renewed sense of what really matters to them.

Perimenopause can be a time for women to strengthen their sense of self by embracing this stage as a natural transition rather than a loss. By focusing on self-care, redefining priorities beyond family or past roles and creating a space for new passions and goals. Practicing self-compassion, connecting with supportive peers, and seeking guidance when needed all reinforce the understanding that this stage is not about diminishing, but about evolving into a more authentic and empowered version of oneself.