David Rust

Trigger warning: This article discusses sexual assault, consent violations, and trauma. Please take care of yourself while reading and skip this article if this topic feels overwhelming. There’s a conversation that many gay men don’t talk about enough: sexual assault in the gay community. When we hear the words “sexual assault,” we may picture a stranger attacking someone in a dark alley. But sexual assault doesn’t always look like that. For many gay men, it can happen during a date, a...

For many gay men, dating and hookup apps have become a normal part of everyday life. Platforms like Grindr, Scruff, Sniffies, Tinder, and Hinge have changed the way people meet, date, build friendships, explore their sexuality, and connect with others in the LGBTQ+ community. These apps often spark strong opinions. Some people see them as empowering tools that create opportunities for connection and self-expression. Others criticize them for contributing to loneliness, superficiality, or...

In my work as a therapist with queer men, concerns about physical appearance almost never show up as vanity. They show up as anxiety. As loneliness. As a low grade fear of being left, overlooked, or replaced. Often, they show up as a quiet but constant feeling of not being enough. For many queer men, the body isn’t just something we live in. It becomes something we feel watched through. Evaluated through. Measured. How we look can start to feel directly tied to how safe, wanted, and chosen we...