David Rust

For many gay men, dating and hookup apps have become a normal part of everyday life. Platforms like Grindr, Scruff, Sniffies, Tinder, and Hinge have changed the way people meet, date, build friendships, explore their sexuality, and connect with others in the LGBTQ+ community. These apps often spark strong opinions. Some people see them as empowering tools that create opportunities for connection and self-expression. Others criticize them for contributing to loneliness, superficiality, or...

In my work as a therapist with queer men, concerns about physical appearance almost never show up as vanity. They show up as anxiety. As loneliness. As a low grade fear of being left, overlooked, or replaced. Often, they show up as a quiet but constant feeling of not being enough. For many queer men, the body isn’t just something we live in. It becomes something we feel watched through. Evaluated through. Measured. How we look can start to feel directly tied to how safe, wanted, and chosen we...

For many gay men, porn becomes an early, often unspoken source of sex education. In the absence of affirming or inclusive information growing up, it’s common to turn to porn to understand identity, desire, and what gay sex is “supposed” to look like. And while porn can feel validating or exciting in some ways, it presents a carefully constructed fantasy, not a model for real connection or intimacy. Over time, these images can shape how people feel about their bodies, how they show up with...